5 Powerful Truths You Need to Remember About Forgiveness
Forgiveness is tough.
We are called to do it, and yet nowhere in the bible is there a step-by-step guide as to how to change our hearts and quickly forgive.
Instead, Jesus leaves us with a blueprint of what it looks like to live fully in God’s will and what it looks like to love exactly as He calls us to.
But, when applying these truths to forgiveness, we can sometimes get caught up and hung up on the technicalities.
As I’ve worked through some deep and difficult times of forgiveness, I’ve learned some truths that are so important to remember as you walk through the web of following God’s call to forgive.
1. It’s a Daily Commitment
Forgiveness is a choice.
And it’s a choice that oftentimes needs to be made daily. When you choose to forgive someone, you are releasing the burden of their wrongdoing to God.
Forgiveness is choosing to give up your anger and to put the outcome of the life of the one who hurt you in God’s loving hands.
It isn’t easy and it doesn’t sound logical. That is why when you choose to forgive, you will often have to make that choice daily. Our natural reactions are to hold onto hurts. It serves as a method of self-protection. But in doing so, we are placing ourselves in control of our own protection.
Choosing to forgive the one who hurt you means that you are offering your heart up to God for for the protection that only He can truly provide. It means that you are trusting that God loves you and is working for Your good no matter what.
When you do this, the weight of unforgiveness will lift and you will be able to begin to find peace.
2. Feelings Won’t Always Follow
After you choose to forgive, you won’t always feel it. And that is okay!
Forgiveness is an attitude, not a feeling. When you forgive another, you are choosing to adopt an attitude of trust in God.
[bctt tweet="When you forgive another, you are choosing to adopt an attitude of trust in God." username="NicoleAKauffman"]
This begins with an action. Pray to God and confess the forgiveness of those who hurt you.
I promise you, in time, the feelings will come. God sees your heart and He will transform it.
3. Hurting is Okay
Forgiving the one that hurt you doesn’t mean that you aren’t allowed to feel the hurt. For so long, I was afraid to forgive another because I thought it meant giving up my right to feel the pain of what had been done.
I wasn’t ready to give up that right. I was still hurting and I thought I had to wait until I was over it to truly forgive.
This is a lie. When we forgive, we are releasing the other person into God’s hands. It’s okay to hurt. It’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to be angry.
[bctt tweet="It’s okay to hurt. It’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to be angry." username="NicoleAKauffman"]
But when anger comes, be sure to take it to the Lord. That is the act of forgiveness.
When we forgive, we can no longer hold onto our anger. You can feel it, but don’t live in it.
4. Prayer is Essential
Prayer focuses our heart on Christ. When we struggle to forgive, we must remember who our heart belongs to.
When you hold onto unforgiveness, your heart will be pulled away from Christ. That is why it is so essential to commit to forgiveness every day and to bring it to God in prayer as often as you can.
Sometimes this means once a day. But other times, it may mean several times a day.
When you are really struggling with the hurt of another’s offense, it is important to bring it to God in prayer as often as it enters your mind.
[bctt tweet="When we struggle to forgive, we must remember who our heart belongs to." username="NicoleAKauffman"]
In doing so, you can give it to God and find His peace in return.
Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:8-9
God calls us to think about what is good and pure. In giving our hearts to God in forgiveness, we are freeing ourselves to think and reflect on what is good. When we do this, God promises that His peace will be with us. Bring your anger and your pain to God and in exchange, He will bring you peace.
5. You Have the Power of the Holy Spirit
The Holy Spirit lives in you. He is there to intercede on your behalf when you are hurting so badly that you cannot.
There have been times in my life where I have been so hurt or upset that I couldn’t bring myself to say anything to God. This is when the Holy Spirit steps in.
The Holy Spirit dwells within every believer and is always working to transform your heart and bring you into a closer relationship with God.
When you struggle with forgiveness, remember that the Holy Spirit is working in you, making your heart new.
Trust that although some moments seem hard, God is transforming your heart and will redeem your hurt.
As we learn how to forgive the ones who have hurt us, we must be assured that God is working in our hearts. As long as we follow His call and bring our hearts to Him in obedience, He will bring us peace.
What has helped you to overcome the hurdle of forgiveness?
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This was a great article and just where God led me today. I prayed so fervently, just this morning, that God would protect me from my enemies and give me peace about the whole situation.
“Choosing to forgive the one who hurt you means that you are offering your heart up to God for for the protection that only He can truly provide.”
This sparked the thought that part of that protection will come when I forgive, or give up my hurt to God. I hold onto my hurt so closely. I also have a deep desire to control the whole situation even when I am powerless to do so.
Thank you for this article! Forgiveness is truly a daily choice!
A lovely post & much needed at the moment. Thank you.
I’m so glad you stopped by, thanks, Penny!
I once heard that you knew when you forgave the other person when you could wish them well rather than desiring to seek revenge. That line, “Wish them well” has always stuck with me. When I’m in the midst of hurt, I think of that line and I just start praying blessings on that person and for God to give me His heart for them.
Your line of releasing the other person to God hits me today in the same sort of way. I don’t want my revenge and bitterness, I want God’s best in that person’s life.
Thanks for sharing this 🙂
I needed this today. Thank you.
I’m so glad that you found encouragement here, Joy! I love hearing from you 🙂
I’ve read and heard a lot of teaching on forgiveness in the past, but you’ve brought up some new, fresh ways to look at this that I haven’t thought about before. I especially like what you said about forgiveness being about trusting God to be our protection.
Thanks so much for sharing this.
Thank you, Ruth! I’m so glad you enjoyed it 🙂
Such a timely and much-needed message to be shared in this world. Thank you for these powerful truths about forgiveness. So thankful we have the Holy Spirit who will help us in this process of forgiving. So glad I stopped over today from Deb’s blog. Bless you!
Thanks, Julie! Yes, this message is even much needed as a reminder to myself at times! So glad you visited 🙂
Wonderful post, Nicole. Your wisdom about forgiveness is much appreciated. Blessings on your writing ministry in 2017!
Thanks, Sarah! 🙂
Hi Nicole, i’ve been thinking and writing about forgiveness (will publish in a few weeks), isnt Gods forgiveness amazing to behold? I am also teaching this concept to my children at this point. Thanks for this post, visiting from grace and truth!
I can’t wait to read your thoughts on forgiveness, Sue!
Amen to this. Just the simple act of obedience in forgiving others will not only heal our heart, but cause our feelings to follow through.
Definitely, Kelly! There is such comfort in that 🙂
Such great reminders, Nicole! It is so true that the more we hold on to unforgiveness, the further we drift from the Lord, so it is definitely best to take out hurts and pains to God on a daily basis! I love the passage in Philippians 4:8– when I keep our mind on Christ instead of on the person who offended me, he fills me with his peace. Thanks for sharing! (visiting from Grace and Truth)
I love that passage too 🙂 Thanks, Christin!
Great post, Nicole! I’ve forgiven some big stuff myself and I’d have to say touched on one of the most important aspects – that it’s a daily commitment! It is an act of will and every single day for years I had to lay this one particular hurt back down at the cross. But eventually, that act of will led me closer to my Jesus and further from the pain. Blessings!
Most definitely, Liz! We have to stay aware and active about it, but God gives us the strength if we are willing 🙂
This is such a good message! Forgiveness is never easy, but it is always worth it. Maybe things can be reconciled, maybe it’s not possible. We can still choose to walk in grace and love.
Thanks, Emily! And yes, it is definitely worth it 🙂
What a great post! I love that you didn’t treat Biblical forgiveness like it’s “forgive and forget”. So many Christians have that as their idea of what forgiveness is, but it isn’t even what God does with our sins. I also love the fact that you talk about the emotional side of things as being natural. You are exactly right.
Thanks, Lauren! And yes, Biblical forgiveness is quite a different picture than we often get, but God can do amazing things through it 🙂
Great post! I told one of my friends that you can overcome hurt and forgive others by crying out to God. He will provide a peace that will allow you to forgive those who have hurt you.
Thanks, Brittany! And yes, when we fully surrender our hearts to Him, He will bring us peace 🙂