I’m going to be honest and admit that when life gets busy, serving my husband quietly slips onto the backburner.
After all, we have so many responsibilities, activities and important tasks to get done every day.
And with only a few hours left in the evenings, we don’t have much time for ourselves, let alone each other.
But God calls us to a love much deeper than romantic passion. Don’t get me wrong-that spark is important, but today, I’m going to talk about an essential part of a strong marriage.
When we serve our spouses, we offer a selfless love that strengthens the very foundation of our marriage.
[bctt tweet="When we serve our spouses, we offer a selfless love that strengthens the very foundation of our marriage." username="NicoleAKauffman"]
When you serve your spouse, you send the message that they are important and respected, their needs are valued and their heart is secure.
So let’s dive into some practical ways you can serve you spouse over the next week.
1. Free Up Their Time
One of the most powerful ways to serve your spouse is to recognize what takes up their time and try and take on some of the load.
Do they spend most of their time cleaning? Maybe do the dishes two nights a week. Do they spend a significant amount of time paying bills? Maybe offer to take over some of the task.
Oftentimes we don’t know how to ask for help or we don’t realize we could use some help. If your spouse is stressed or overloaded, this is a great way to serve them.
When you serve your spouse in this way, you offer them time and space to decompress, to unwind and to connect with the Lord.
And this will strengthen their heart and your marriage.
2. Surprise Them
This one can be fun. Whether you surprise them by completing one of their typical chores, or you surprise them with a romantic evening, the element of surprise often accentuates the very gift or service offered.
Think about what makes your spouse feel loved. Consider their love language. What makes them feel valued?
If you haven’t already, try taking this quiz to determine your love language: Determine Your Love Language Quiz
Once you’ve decided this, then find a way to surprise them with it.
My husband is a service-oriented person. He loves when I do something practical for him. This makes him feel loved. So when I surprise him, often I will do a task or chore for him, and he values that greatly.
When you consider what makes your spouse feel loved and then do it as a surprise, it is a great way to serve them.
3. Use Your Words Well
God calls us to build each other up. This is crucial in a strong marriage.
[bctt tweet="God calls us to build each other up. This is crucial in a strong marriage." username="NicoleAKauffman"]
Our words have power. I know that when I am stressed or overwhelmed, my words start to reflect that. And in turn, my husband becomes discouraged.
I’ll admit that when I am feeling stressed, I tend to become accusatory and this makes my husband feel exhausted and distant.
I need to take extra care to be sure that the words that I use in our marriage are encouraging, respectful and to build him up.
It is amazing the difference a few words can make.
4. Bring Them to God in Prayer
Prayer is an essential part of a healthy marriage. When we pray for our spouses, God not only transforms them, but He transforms our hearts as well.
Whether you are hoping for a change in your marriage or hoping to continue strengthening it, prayer is crucial.
Spend time every morning praying for your spouse.
Pray for your marriage, but be sure to pray for all areas of their life.
You can also lift them up when you are in prayer together. This is a great way to strengthen your marriage.
5. It’s in the Little Things
There are so many big things that we can do to make our spouses feel loved, but in our everyday lives, what matters most is often the little things.
[bctt tweet="What matters most is often the little things." username="NicoleAKauffman"]
A kiss when your spouse arrives home from work. An offer to help with dinner. A kind word. There are so many little things that can greatly strengthen your marriage.
Be on watch for the opportunities that will pop up everyday.
When you take the time each day to connect with the Lord so that your eyes will be opened to all of the little opportunities that you can serve your spouse.
God is working in your heart and when you seek Him, He will give you the strength to serve your spouse in all areas of your marriage.
Continue to consider these five ways that you can make your spouse feel loved. Make them a natural part of your marriage.