Overcoming Trauma: 3 Lies You Need to Fight
Overcoming trauma can be extremely difficult.
We’ve all heard of those who have endured trauma. Some of us have even faced traumatic experiences ourselves.
Trauma tears apart the peace and the rest within your soul.
It feeds off of the very sanity within you and slowly breaks down your resolve.
But it doesn’t have to.
Trauma is one of the most difficult things to talk about. We are afraid to speak about our own trauma and we are afraid to hear about others’.
It’s messy, scary and uncomfortable.
There is no easy answer and no quick fix to the brokenness that results from trauma.
But we’re feeding a lie into our society that these things must be kept quiet. We are hurting the ones who are left to untangle the mess that trauma leaves behind.
[bctt tweet="We’re feeding a lie into our society that these things must be kept quiet." username="NicoleAKauffman"]
We must bring these experiences into the light. We must encourage others to talk about it and find the courage to talk about it ourselves.
When trauma is brought into the light, it exposes these 3 lies that fuel the pain.
Shame
The lie of shame settles deep within the hearts of those affected by trauma.
Shame is a belief that the events must be kept secret or else seldom talked about. It is the belief that because of the trauma there is something inherently wrong with the very essence of who you are.
This shame is a lie.
And this lie can only be overcome when brought into the light.
Shame is fueled by secrecy.
We must encourage others to find the strength to speak up about trauma. When trauma is so uncommonly discussed, those suffering from its effects feel the need to keep it hidden.
However, when shame is brought into the light, you will find that it slowly dissipates. Because this shame is based on lies that have been webbed within your mind and the light exposes those lies.
If you are suffering from shame, I encourage you to find someone with whom you can share your struggle.
When you do, you open the door to enormous healing.
I also encourage every member of the church to look to those around you. Your neighbors may be dealing with tremendous pain resulting from trauma.
Reach out and be that open door of encouragement with which God can help to heal the hurting.
Fear
Trauma breeds a lifestyle of fear. One of the most common symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is fear.
Fear of the memories. Fear of the emotions. Fear of the triggers.
[bctt tweet="These fears may have roots in reality, but when kept hidden, they grow wildly out of control." username="NicoleAKauffman"]
When we bring trauma into the light, it is possible to face it for what it is. Oftentimes, the trauma is in the past and, those who suffer fear the recurrence of something that will not happen again. And yet the fear persists.
This fear needs to be fought. The lie that the trauma will continue to overpower you needs to be brought into the light as well.
There can be healing. There is hope for a time when the past will stay in the past.
But this can only be found by bringing it into the light.
Facing what is most feared is the only way to overcome the fear itself.
We must encourage others to share their stories. We must create an atmosphere of Godly love and stand against the lies of Satan.
[bctt tweet="We must create an atmosphere of Godly love and stand against the lies of Satan." username="NicoleAKauffman"]
And as you find the courage to face those fears, you will find that it isn’t as scary as what it seemed when it was in the dark.
Isolation
The third powerful lie that stems from the secrecy and oppression of trauma is that you are alone in it.
This lie creates a cycle because of the secrecy most trauma victims live in.
You feel you must keep it a secret and so you don’t share. Because you don’t share, there is no validation or conversation of others who have experienced trauma. Because you don’t hear about others, you feel alone. Because you feel alone, you keep it secret.
This cycle is vicious. It is a cycle that cultivates isolation.
And yet the isolation is a lie. There are so many that have suffered the effects of abuse, neglect, war, and trauma. So many others suffer with the fears and the shame that seek to overcome trauma survivors.
You are not alone.
Don’t believe the lie that you must fight it on your own.
Reach out. Take a small step in opening your heart to the light.
We must be there to love and encourage those who are suffering. Don’t allow your neighbor to fall into the pits of isolation and pain. Open your arms and your heart to loving others.
It is only when trauma is brought into the light that the lies of shame, fear and isolation can begin to fade into the past.
[bctt tweet="It is only when trauma is brought into the light that the lies of shame, fear and isolation can begin to fade into the past." username="NicoleAKauffman"]
Overcoming trauma is possible.
Let's stand together and be the body of Christ to those who are struggling with trauma.
And if you are struggling with trauma, God is reaching out to you. He wants to bring you healing and redemption.
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SO good! I agree 100%
Keep sharing and spreading awareness!!
This message is so necessary for all to hear, Nicole. Thank you for speaking this truth. I know by experience how shame, fear, and isolation can affect us. We need more people who invite others who are hurting to share their stories. God bless you!
Definitely, Trudy! Thank you for sharing! Glad you stopped by 🙂
This is so true!! Thank you for sharing this at the Grace + Lace Linkup, and for just posting these truths in general!
Thanks, Mackenzie!
You’re right about bringing those experiences into the light. It takes courage to do this. I pray for anyone affected for the grace to go through the difficult steps that will eventually bring healing.
Thank you for your kind heart, Edith!
Nicole. thank you so much for speaking truth and briging into the light what many doint even want to think about much less talk about. I love this line from your tweet: These fears may have roots in reality, but when kept hidden, they grow wildly out of control. This is so very true…. things like fear and shame grow and thrive in the dark, but when brought into the light are exposed for the truth, hope, encourgement and love of others to touch them. I am blessed to be your neighbor today at #WomenWithIntention
Most definitely, Debbie. Thank you for your thoughts 🙂
My favorite quote Nicole: “Shame is a lie. And this lie can only be overcome when brought into the light.” Thank you for sharing truth today. Visiting from #coffeeforyourheart 🙂
Thanks, Angela! Yes bringing our pain into the light is SO powerful!
A message of encouragement for all, not just for those who are suffering from trauma.
Thank you, Kathleen!
Wow, you really hit the mark with highlighting these three. The enemy will always use fear, shame, and isolation as tactics to keep us down and identifying with brokenness rather than walking with Jesus in the healing and wholeness He has for us.
Definitely, Jennette. That’s why it’s so important to be in fellowship! We can stand together and fight the enemy!
Oh, how this post speaks to me. Thank you for the encouragement to continue to fight shame, fear and isolation, dear sister. Thankful for you!
Thank you, Lauren! So great to hear from you 🙂
This message powers my spirit and helps me. Thanks so much for writing with honesty and love. Also thanks for your continued support on the #LMMLinkup each week.
Thank you, Mary! I always enjoy your visiting your site!
Thankful for these truths! Keep shining for Jesus!
Blessings (and shared on Pinterest – http://www.pinterest.com/sarahefrazer
Thank you, Sarah!
I so appreciated this post! It is so hard to step forward out of that isolation sometimes and tell our story, but each time we do, it is amazing how God turns our brokenness and pain into something that comforts someone else who is suffering. Thank you so much for this gentle reminder, Nicole. 🙂
It is amazing how God transforms our brokenness and pain. Thanks, Cheryl!
Thank you for sharing these encouraging words! Yes, I have found that even if we share our small-seeming traumas with others, an opening into a safe place of being able to share those bigger traumas is created. And truly that is how we can “bear each other’s burdens” as Jesus asked us to. Blessed to be your neighbor at #TellHisStory this week!
Great point, Bettie! Thank you!
This is beautiful! Darkness stays in darkness, but when we are surrounded by love and freedom, found in Christ, we can truly begin to heal. Thank you for speaking truth!
Definitely, Abbey! Thanks for stopping by 🙂
After my 7th child, a 27-weeker preemie was born, the shame was nearly overwhelming. I often felt as if I was treading water and if I stopped for just one second, I would drown. Thanks for this – yes, we do need to talk about these things! Blogging about my experiences really helped me heal.
I’m glad you’ve found healing in sharing, Carrie. It can be so important!
I love how you focus on fear being based in reality, but also that it only overwhelms us when we don’t bring it to the Light for healing. Secrets are widespread in our society, but I’ve noticed that more and more people are chucking this way of thinking in favor of being real, seeking support, and moving forward. Your rallying call to support trauma victims instead of judging them is awesome!
Thanks, Kirste!
“We must be there to love and encourage those who are suffering. ” This is so true.
I have found that it is best to share with spiritually mature women who are prayer warriors. I have had some uncomfortable experiences with sharing my story with people who were not. It is very sad how our society, even other Christians, does not want to deal with anyone or anything that makes them uncomfortable.
You make a great point, Ruth, that we shouldn’t share our vulnerable stories with just anyone. We must guard our hearts as we seek to find someone who is loving. And that points out the importance of being that loving and caring woman for others! Thank you for sharing 🙂
I really love your encouragement to share your stories with others. I believe that is SO powerful. I was in a very unhealthy marriage for 6 years and I carried a heavy burden of shame that isolated me more and more. I am so thankful to be free, and I am so blessed to have connected with others that have gone through similar things. I love that feeling of relief when you find out you really aren’t the only one!
It is SO important to know you aren’t alone! I’m glad you found that and want to be that for others! 🙂
Shame, fear, and isolation—three reptiles that can eat us alive if we allow them to. Thanks for shining the light on a subject we don’t often address. Traumas, whether large or small, don’t need to be faced alone.
Definitely, Lisa! Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Great encouragement! You are so right about not keeping trauma hidden!
Thanks, Sabrina!
It’s so easy to define ourselves by the tragedies we’ve known, to isolate ourselves in fear and shame. Thank you for naming all these things so that they can be brought out into the light.
Thanks, Michele! Defining ourselves by God is so important!
So true- fear and shame lose so much of their power when they are brought into the light. I agree, we need to be better at talking about these things as well as letting others know that it’s safe to share their stories. So often we can feel like we’re the only one but I think more people than w realise can usually relate to these things.
I completely agree, Lesley, it’s amazing how many people begin to speak up when they hear of others who have gone through something similar! There is power in sharing 🙂
There are some important truths here. Trauma induces such paralyzing fears and lies about not being able to recover. Oh but God uses it for good. Great post!
Thanks, Natalie! Yes, God does use it for good, isn’t that amazing?!
Indeed all these are very true
Thanks, Debbie
So much wisdom shared here, Nicole. Lisa Murray describes little “t” traumas and big “T” traumas- we all have our own assortment, and they all lead to struggles and lies like these if we do not deal with them properly. It’s hard work, but worthwhile work. Thanks for sharing this!
Thanks, Bethany! I agree, hard but worthwhile for sure!