Overcoming Lies of Abuse
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Healing From the Lies of Abuse

I am so happy to introduce you to Wendy Munsell in this next post in the Standing Against Satan Series. I am blessed beyond belief with her powerful and honest words of pain and healing. This post offers a tremendous amount of truth into a very difficult situation. Read on to hear Wendy's beautiful story of redemption.

Overcoming the Lies of Child Abuse

In order to stand against something, you first have to acknowledge that it exists. 

This becomes problematic if your go-to method of dealing with unpleasantness is to ignore it. In my case, the years of abuse I endured as a child reinforced my tendency to hide from the awful truth that all was not well.

For three plus years, my father - the one I looked to for love and protection, came to me during the silence of the night and hurt me.

As a result I learned:

That I could do nothing to protect myself, so don't bother.

To fear what I didn't understand.

To remain silent despite wanting to do otherwise.

So I dealt with my feelings of pain and helplessness by simply pretending that they didn't exist.

My coping mechanisms were helped along by the outward appearance of my middle class family's life. Dad worked, mom stayed home and took care of my sisters and me. And while finances were tight sometimes, we always had enough to eat and clothes to wear. We had a nice house, we lived in a good neighborhood, and for the most part, everyone got along just fine.

In fact, my ongoing denial that anything was wrong fit in perfectly with the enemy's desire to destroy me.

[bctt tweet="My ongoing denial that anything was wrong fit in perfectly with the enemy's desire to destroy me. #StandAgainstSatan" username="NicoleAKauffman"]

By refusing to admit that I was in pain, I unwittingly collaborated with Satan's scheme to keep me from crying out to God for deliverance.

Because if he could keep me from acknowledging that I was hurting and needed help, he could keep me from crying out to my deliverer, Jesus.

But here's the good news... Jesus delivered me anyway! When I was twelve He broke through the murky confusion in my mind and heart that had kept me unaware of my plight... and silent. I spoke up and from that day forward the abuse ended.

End of story, right? Not so much. While I am grateful more than I can say that I was rescued from my father's deviant behavior, in many ways, I continued to live my life from a place of fear and helplessness. And why not? Nothing else changed.

My life went on as though nothing had ever happened.

There were no counseling sessions to help me process my trauma, no apologies to acknowledge I had been wronged, and no outward sign that anything had ever been amiss. Dad continued to go to work, Mom went on taking care of us, and we all continued to act as though nothing was wrong. It was as though I had woken up from a bad dream and now that it was over what was there to say? It was over.

Initially I embraced the concept of being a victim. It helped me to cope with what had been done to me.

But as the years passed I began operating from a victim point of view all the time. It had become my identity.

After all, I reasoned, that's just the way I am... I can't help it. Seeing myself as helpless reinforced my fearful tendencies.

There was a seductive quality to the word "victim" that made me comfortable with remaining passive in the face of difficulties.

[bctt tweet="There was a seductive quality to the word "victim" that made me comfortable with remaining passive in the face of difficulties. #StandAgainstSatan" username="NicoleAKauffman"]

Operating from a victim mentality defined who I thought I was... and I was okay with that for decades.

But through all those years, Jesus has faithfully continued to draw me to Himself. He has set me free from the bondage caused by wounds from the past as well as the lies that I had swallowed hook, line, and sinker.

In later years someone described me as being a survivor. I liked the sound of that. "Survivor" brings with it a sense of pride in having made it through an ordeal. It made me feel strong despite knowing that any strength I had displayed had come from God.

But even better than making it or surviving is knowing that through Jesus Christ I am a conqueror! In fact, according to His word, I am more than a conqueror!

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:37-39 ESV)

Nothing and no one has the power to separate me from God's love! Not even the lies of the enemy that made me believe that I was a helpless victim... always going to be unable to give or receive love. 

[bctt tweet="Nothing and no one has the power to separate me from God's love! #StandAgainstSatan" username="NicoleAKauffman"]

I no longer have to cower away from my pain because I know that the One who is Truth loves me just as I am.

And believe me, at times I am still confused, wounded, and fearful.

But the amazing wonder of it all is this... Jesus holds out His arms to me, inviting me to come to Him for everything I need. Why?

Because I am His beloved.



Wendy has been married to her high-school sweetheart, Patrick, for 39 amazing years. They have seven children and 19 grandchildren! God has taken this formerly uptight, wounded, people-pleaser and set her free through the love and mercy of His son, Jesus Christ. As a result, Wendy writes to encourage others at her blog, Blessed Unravelling, where she has been writing since June of 2015.  In 2016 Wendy was diagnosed with breast cancer. This experience has added to burden she feels for those who have been wounded emotionally and spiritually. It is her hope that her testimony of God’s grace towards her will encourage others.

Follow Wendy on her blog: www.blessedunravelling.com or on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.

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  1. Beautiful and powerful post Wendy! It blessed my day, and helped me to see what a “survivor” really is.
    We are loved by a wonderful heavenly Father, aren’t we?!

  2. Wendy, this is beautiful. I love the redemption in your story. God loves to rescue us and set us free. You really are his beloved.

  3. Wendy,
    You are a survivor. I am glad you were able to put perspective on your situation and turn it into something others can benefit from. You are an inspiration.

  4. This was so heartbreaking, but also encouraging, to read. So wonderful to hear that you’ve found healing in Jesus.

    “I no longer have to cower away from my pain because I know that the One who is Truth loves me just as I am.” Beautiful lines.

  5. Thank you for sharing your powerful testimony. I have no words to describe how touching and meaningful your post is to help others fight against the lies of the enemy. I’m so thankful that Christ offers us freedom. Blessings and big hugs!

  6. Wendy, I can relate in several ways. For most of my life I suffered from emotional abuse that for the most part has not been acknowledged. Secretly, I found comfort in the truth that I was a victim. Yet for years I was stuck in that mentality. Through Bible study, counseling and Christian friendships, I learned I could be a conqueror in God’s power. Thank you for sharing your story so bravely–I’m glad to know another abuse victim has found healing and hope in God!

    1. Oh, Sarah… I am so very glad that Jesus has brought you through chronic victimhood to knowing your identity in Him as an overcomer and conqueror! What a blessing! Thanks for sharing some of your own journey here. Hugs, dear sister!

  7. Thank you for sharing your story. You are definitely a conqueror. I thank God for your life and I pray this story will encourage others. I was a victim of abuse and God turned it around for me. I truly owe him my all. I hope to some day share my story of healing and forgiveness.

    1. Dear Chioma, I am so sorry to hear that you were also abused. But what joy to know that God has “turned it around” for you! May you be emboldened to speak the words of hope and healing that others must surely need… in God’s time. He has the perfect time and way for you to minister… hugs!

  8. Oh my. So much to overcome, but it sounds like you have, Wendy. Thank you for sharing this story with us; how difficult. May God continue to bless you as you bless others.

  9. It is not easy sharing the deep ugly truth of abuse and what it has done to us but thank God for deliverance and freedom in Christ! Your ministry is worth the pain as Jesus points the way to freedom for other women, teens, and girls who have/are going through abuse of any form. Blessings to you, Wendy!
    Stopped by from Salt & Light Link Up.

    1. Hi, Cindy! What you say about the difficulty in sharing a painful past is true. But the joy in sharing what Jesus has done for me grows each time I do! Jesus really does take the sting of shame far, far away.

  10. What I have learned over the years of healing is that our Heavenly Father is not like our earthly father, and Yes, we are conquerors in CHRIST JESUS no matter how gruesome our story is. JESUS defines us as healed, complete, and restored.
    Thank you Wendy for sharing a big part of your story and showing us how God can heal us through and through.

    May this life story touch and speak to many hurting souls out there today.
    Thank you Nicole for hosting Wendy today 🙂


    1. Dear Diana,
      Your comment about how Jesus defines us as “healed, complete, and restored” is so very true! I have found that learning to walk in the fullness of that knowledge hasn’t been easy… or come quickly. But nevertheless, Jesus has always been faithful to do what is necessary to renew my mind and heart. Blessings to you… Wendy

  11. Oh my goodness, I too have spent too much time ignoring and pretending the pain doesn’t exist. I love this verse in Romans it’s one of my favorites…in fact, it came up on the verse of the day this morning 🙂

    1. Hello fellow hider! One of the things that Jesus has been leading me into is the importance of lamenting. For too long I labored under a burden that was not mine to carry due to a “fake it until you make it” mentality that I brought to my faith walk. Understanding that is not only okay, to admit I am hurting to God, but that He actually wants me to pour my heart out before Him has been a game changer in my relationship with Him. May Jesus be close to you, Michelle, as you begin taking your pain to Him. Hugs!

  12. Wendy, thank you for sharing your powerful story. You didn’t have too but you did, and for that someone who needs to hear this will find it and I hope they find it fast! You are enough.

    1. Thank-you, Jess, for your kind and encouraging words! It is a great honor to share what Jesus has done for me. Doing so continues to bless me and I hope it helps others too.

  13. Thank you for your courage in sharing, Wendy, and speaking up on this topic. Your story is a beautiful testimony of how God’s light can shine even in deep darkness. I have never been completely comfortable with identifying as either a victim or a survivor so I love this alternative of identifying as a conqueror through Jesus!

    1. Lesley, the concept of being a victim or survivor became something I’ve thought about a lot due to getting breast cancer a year ago. When first diagnosed, I was told that I was now a “survivor,” although many cancer patients prefer the term “fighter.” A dear sister in Christ received a diagnosis of metastatic bone cancer midway through my treatment and died a few months later.

      In my opinion, she was a fighter until the day she died when she became one, healed forever, and two, an overcomer in Jesus!

  14. Nicole, thank you for sharing this powerful and transparent post by Wendy Munsell! What hope we have in Christ, who heals and helps us through our deepest wounds.

  15. Wendy, thank you for telling your story of redemption and owning the name of beloved. I know God is the strength enabling you to share what still must hold sorrow. But you are an encouragement to countless others and a reminder life can be lived in fullness through the loving grace of Jesus.

    1. Hi, Debbie! I love how you put this… “owning the name of beloved.” That is a theme that has been going through my mind for much lately. Oh, how much the Father desires us to know how very beloved we are to Him.

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