How to Let Go and Find Freedom from Hurt
I'm excited to welcome April Nelson as she shares how God has helped her to heal from hurt and learn to "let it go". Her encouragement has been powerful in my life as I learn how to let go and I know will help you in this journey too!
How many times have you heard the phrase “Let it go” and, if you have ever seen the movie Frozen and are anything like me, your mind wants to start humming or even belting out “Let it go, let it go”
Your welcome 😊 Now the song will be in your head the rest of the day!
It was a couple months ago that the words “let it go” kept ringing in my ears and I knew that the Lord wanted me to take time to ponder on these words. When I have a repeating thought then that is normally the signal for me that they Holy Spirit is trying to get me to take note of it for a reason.
I am married to a wonderful man. He is really a good hearted soul. Now, is he perfect? No, but neither am I.
There are times that even our wonderful husbands will say something that really just downright hurts. We are all imperfect people and so in a relationship of any type, there will be times that our heart will get wounded in some way.
Now, I want to be clear, I am not referring to emotional abuse, as that entails more processes, such as counseling. If you find yourself in this type of situation then I highly recommend seeking help. This is a great resource for a professional counseling center that will help you get started in this area: Focus On The Family
I have most definitely learned some things through the years and I feel the Lord has guided me in sharing these 4 tips that will help you in the process of being able to “Let it go” when our heart gets a little wounded.
This list can be applied not only in a marriage relationship but also in a dating relationship, friendships and family relationships.
Take time to pause with the Lord
If we react first before we take a pause with the Lord then we may regret our reaction later. This step is so very important because we need the Holy Spirit to help guide us to the “why are we hurt?” answer. Once you pause with the Lord then He can help put the hurt in the proper light.
The Holy Spirit may just remind you that you have been a little sensitive that day for various reasons. I know that there have been moments I have been “Extra” as my daughter would say and taking this time with the Lord has helped me to be filled with peace instead of pain. In this way the Lord will help you to just simply “let it go.”
Of course there are times that whatever was said needs a response, but going to the Lord first allows you to ask Him to guide you in the right words to say when you do need to go back to respond and talk it out with your husband, friend or family member.
Respond instead of react
When we have been hurt, learning to respond to Holy Spirit first will help us to respond instead of react. Often, we can simply say something like “Can I ask you what you meant because this is the way I took it and it did not feel so great in my heart.”
This can be a great opening to allow for the issue to be resolved rather than to build.
We can do this in a better mindset since we have already spent time with the Prince of Peace which allows a more calm response and we are then able to talk it out instead of scream it out….yep that has definitely been a lot of my responses when I don’t go to the Lord first.
Make allowances in the name of love
There are 2 words we should focus on…..forgive and love. We must always be ready to forgive the person that hurt us, even if we never get an apology. This is not for the other person but rather to protect your heart from any feelings of resentment to build.
Resentment hangs on and when the next incident happens you will only add more pain on top of resentment. And then it continues to build this really ugly snowball that will eventually become an avalanche to your soul.
Jesus had a lot to say about loving one another. The greatest commandment is that we are to love the Lord with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself. So, if we respond to someone in the same way that we would want someone to approach us, then that will be a big help as we choose our words carefully.
2 verses to take note of in the area of forgive and love:
Let all that you do be done in love. 1 Corinthians 16:14
Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:13
This can be applied to any relationship that we have.
We must give people room to fail. That is a pretty hard pill to swallow at times….trust me I know!! However, we need to find it in our heart to always forgive and to always love.
Go back to the Lord
Sometimes things get resolved right away and sometimes, unfortunately they don’t. So, there may be times that these steps need to be repeated again and again. The best thing about continually taking our hurt back to the Lord is that He will heal your heart.
I have to work in not allowing my emotions to dictate my actions. If we choose to always be emotionally led then we will often be led in a direction that will only cause more damage than resolve. I definitely know that my emotions cannot always be trusted but I know that I can always trust God.
Proverbs 3:5,6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.
Whether the Lord brings a resolve to the situation or whether He simply allows you to heal and “Let it go” take comfort knowing the Lord Jesus will always be there for you to turn to in your pain. He wants us to come to Him first so that He can help guide us to our healing.
I think we can have a new song in our heart titled “Learning to let it go with Jesus”
Meet April
April is a wife, has 6 children in a yours mine and ours home. She's also a Nana to 4 grandchildren. She works as a Hope Coach through a faith based crisis chat line. It was through this ministry of helping wounded hearts and through her own experience of God healing her emotionally and mentally that she felt the Lord calling her to further share how there is hope and healing to be found through a close relationship with Jesus. We can be encouraged through the truth in His word to Heal In Heart. You can find her at her blog, Healing in Heart here.
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I love these truths. It is so easy to reply and escalate a situation, especially if you are like me and naturally want to win everything. It is so very silly trying to defend your great points when taking it to our wonderful Savior. Winning an argument but damaging someone does not fulfill why we are here. Thank you for the reminder.
I loved this article. It’s relevant to what I’m.goimg through now and very practical. Thanks for sharing.
I love this article! Especially how you talk about forgiveness. I used to think it meant letting the person who wronged you be right for their actions and I know others think the same. Forgiveness isn’t about being right or wrong, you’re not condoning their behavior. You’re simply letting of the emotional attachment you have to the memory. You’re releasing it so you can move on in peace.
You are absolutely right Rebecca. Being able to keep peace in our own heart and mind is a fruit we get to enjoy when we choose to forgive! Thanks for reading 🙂
Respond instead of react is so very important. It makes such a difference in how you focus your thoughts, and your motives. Great info!
Absolutely Jennifer and it’s an are that I have to be very intentional in, so to not let my emotions always be the one in control.
I love this article so much and especially resonate with the “take time with the Lord” because on the days I don’t there is a real difference. Thank you so much for sharing!
Jamie, you are so very right! Taking that time with Jesus truly sets our days apart from the days we don’t. It’s all a part of being battle ready in our daily walk. Thanks for reading!
Wow. Love the notion of responding instead of reacting.
Ohhhh these are such good tips. I’m single, but I still have so many areas that test me from time-to-time and I need to learn let go more frequently than what I do. Thanks for sharing:)
Laura
Black Coffee Beautiful
Thanks for reading Laura! Those tests can pop up at any moment and having our mindset ready to respond before react can be so helpful. It truly was a turning point for me as I was trying hard to make a change. I’m still a work in progress but so thankful that I can always trust God to help me “let it go”