How often do we try to take the reins in motherhood? We have a vision or dream for what it will look like and naturally we think we know how to get there. But what if we stepped back and let God shape our motherhood journey?
God has shown me over and over again that when I give Him the reins and allow him to lead me in motherhood, that is when the most beautiful version of our family rises up.
Before I became a mom, I had so many ideas about what motherhood would look like. I nannied and babysat my whole life. I had mom friends who gave me a bit of an inside look. And don’t get me wrong, these things helped me to be more prepared.
But when you have children of your own, you begin to realize that the high expectations that you had were insanely unrealistic. We can all probably relate to that thing we thought we would never do and yet gave in and realized we couldn’t avoid it once we had our own kids.
Let’s be honest, motherhood is a learning process. It’s a journey that can result in more blessing than any other thing there is. But it isn’t easy.
Today I want to encourage you to allow God to shape you as a mom and in your motherhood journey. It is one of the most sanctifying things I’ve ever experienced in my life.
Not only is your heart entirely changed the moment you hold your little one, but you’re faced with sacrificing so many things. And this is never easy.
Crashing into Reality
I knew what I wanted my life to look like with children. And when I had my first, I really tried. I wanted a cute home, a beautiful nursery full of high-quality toys and minimal clothes and junk.
I wanted peaceful mornings with coffee and the sun shining through the windows. And exciting afternoons running around in the backyard.
I just knew naptime would be enough to get my work done and keep the house clean. And when bedtime came, my husband and I would fall into each other’s arms and talk about our days and laugh together.
Honestly, there are moments where these things do happen. There are days where my morning is actually peaceful and I sip coffee and watch as toys get nicely played with.
There are evenings where the house isn’t a wreck and I have quality time with my husband.
But more often than not, this is not what motherhood looks like.
Motherhood more often looks like a mess than the Instagram-worthy pictures we see flooding our feeds.
Over and over again I felt like a failure.
What was I doing wrong that my home wasn’t cozy and clean? Our toys became a heaping pile and overstuffed drawer. My evenings consisted of barely enough energy to clean up the dishes before collapsing onto the couch and watching tv.
Where was the energy to raise up my children in the way I envisioned?
A New Vision
One of the things I began praying for was that God would give me a vision for what our family was to be. For His will for me in motherhood and in raising up my children as well as what our marriage should look like.
As much as I want God to just give me a dream or literal vision for what this is to look like, I do believe this vision comes from Scripture.
I know that in God’s Word, He shows us His will for us in our family. He tells us how we as women can love our husbands, our children and take care of our home. He gives us clear instructions for our marriages.
Digging into Scripture is where this vision came to life. This is exactly where my upcoming devotional, Building Your Home with Faith and Wisdom, was born (more on this soon!)
This vision didn’t care so much about whether my toys were wooden or plastic or whether my mornings were peaceful or chaotic. It was more about my own heart, the heart of my children and about our family doing the will of God together.
My focus began to shift. I had to stop comparing myself to how all the family’s around me appeared to look because that had hardly any reflection on the heart of their family.Instead of comparing and striving, I began to lift my motherhood journey and family up in prayer and to ask God to shape my heart into what He wants for me in motherhood.
Wooden Toys and Cozy Couches
Now for me and my family, much of what I did desire initially still holds a place within my heart.
I still long to create a cozy home where my children feel at peace and where their hearts can open up and explore the world around them. I still long to provide activities and toys that are going to help them developmentally and inspire imagination.
But these things are not my main focus in motherhood.
As God has shaped me as a mom and worked on my heart (with plenty more to work on, I’m sure!) I’ve learned that it is more about nurturing my family, my marriage, my children and my home than anything else.
And this will look different for my family than yours. We don’t have to compare and feel insecure or judge others for the way they do things, because God speaks to me about how I can live out this calling in my family and this may look different than how He speaks to you.
So, Mama, whether you feel like things are going well or you feel like you’re drowning beneath the toys and tantrums, take time to ask God to give you a vision for what He calls you to in motherhood. Ask Him to give you a vision for your family.
And allow Him into your heart to sanctify, grow and shape you. Because motherhood, although messy, is a beautiful opportunity to bring God’s light into your children’s hearts and into your home.