I prayed about my marriage.

I spent time asking God to grow us and to bring us closer.

But looking back I had no idea how important devoted and strategic prayer was to a healthy and thriving marriage.

When you spend devoted time in prayer, specifically about your marriage, you will find that several aspects of your marriage will change.


Why Prayer is Essential to a Thriving Marriage

1. Your Role


It is clear throughout Scripture that the role of a wife is to serve and submit to her husband and the role of a husband is to love his wife as himself.

Submission is extremely powerful when approached correctly.

So many people skew the intention that God has for us as wives. And because of this, so many wives resist this idea.

But think about the beauty of the picture that Christ paints through this.

Wives are to submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ.

Think about all Christ did for the church. He died for her. And in that beautiful picture of sacrifice and love, the church surrenders to Christ.

Submission is so important in a healthy marriage. Consider approaching it with a new mindset today. Consider searching Scripture and seeking God’s will for you in marriage through prayer.

Now let us look at the call to husbands. Husbands, you are to love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

This call fits together in perfect harmony with the call to wives.

In a loving marriage, husbands are to love their wives by putting her before his needs and desires and serving her by sacrificing himself daily. And simultaneously wives, in trust, fully submits to her husband’s leading, knowing how deeply he loves and cares for her.

You may ask, what about when my spouse doesn’t love me this way?

How can I fully submit to a husband who doesn’t have my best intention in mind? How can I sacrifice my needs for a wife who doesn’t care or appreciate it at all?

These questions are tough. And the only way to approach this difficult situation is to call out to God in prayer.

When our spouses don’t love us as God has called them to, it is not our job to change them. We are not the ones who transform hearts. That is up to God and His perfect timing.

All we can do when our spouses don’t love us the way that God calls them to is to pray and pray hard.

[bctt tweet="All we can do when our spouses don’t love us the way that God calls them to is to pray and pray hard." username="NicoleAKauffman"]

And in the meantime we must do the best we can to follow the call that God places on us in our marriage.

We live in a sin-filled world and living up to the call that God has for us in marriage will take dedicated and fervent prayer. I encourage you to pray for this call and the desire to serve God and your spouse in this way daily.

As you begin to transform, God will answer your call and heal your marriage.


2. Your Grace and Patience


In devoted prayer, you will find that God will work in your heart.

He sees those who earnestly seek Him and He will transform you.

In a healthy marriage, you will need a lot of patience. In a relationship as close as marriage, you will at some point be affected by your spouse’s faults and shortcomings.

And in those moments, the best way to answer to God’s call in marriage is to show grace and patience.

I don’t know about you, but I find that days that I don’t pray for strength, I run out quick.

When my husband makes a mistake, I can easily run low on patience and grace.

I have found that I need to pray daily for the strength to be gracious and patient with him. And I also need to pray in the moment.

[bctt tweet="I have found that I need to pray daily for the strength to be gracious and patient" username="NicoleAKauffman"]

I would encourage you to pray for the strength to be patient and gracious with your spouse.


3. Your Heart for Service


Let’s face it, by nature we are all selfish to one degree or another. I know this because I didn’t escape this reality either.

Some are better at putting others first, but can you agree with me when I say that marriage opens your eyes to how selfish our hearts really are? It sucks. And it takes A LOT of work to overcome this.

From what I’ve learned, it will be an ongoing lifelong process, dealing with our selfishness.

It’s not easy, but God will transform us.

When we spend consistent time praying about our marriages, our hearts will grow closer to the Lord’s.

In time, a heart of service will flourish and you will find that you have more strength to serve your spouse no matter the circumstance.

[bctt tweet="When we spend consistent time praying about our marriages, our hearts will grow closer to the Lord’s." username="NicoleAKauffman"]

It’s easy to serve when things are great. But when you’re tested, serving is tough. When your spouse isn’t loving you very well, serving is tough.

But God calls us to it all the same. We are called to serve and build up our spouses. In prayer you can find the strength to do this.

I encourage you to spend time each day this week, even if only 5 minutes a day, praying for your spouse, for your marriage and for your heart.

Take time to lay your heart before the Lord and ask Him to open doors to a healthy and thriving marriage.

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